Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Year in Entertainment

Now that I've given you a year-end review of what really matters (music—in album and single form—and hot men) and some things that don't (memes), it's time to take a look at what the rest of the entertainment world had to offer.

Live Music
Luckily, I was able to catch more concerts this year than I expected, mostly thanks to some smaller, reasonably-priced venues in the area (namely, the new, fabulous Stage AE) that brings in artists who aren't big enough for stadiums but too big for small clubs, and therefore, wouldn't normally come to Pittsburgh.

The Best: Pearl Jam (PJ20) at Alpine Valley, Elkhorn, WI, September 3. I couldn't make both nights of PJ20, which is unfortunate because apparently the Sunday show was the better of the two. And even though it rained most of Saturday, prompting my group to sit in the parking lot and drink, missing most of the lineup (we only heard the tail end of Queens of the Stone Age, and got to see full sets by The Strokes and PJ), and it wasn't even the best of their shows that I've seen, it was still PEARL JAM. I can't imagine hauling myself to Middle of Nowhere, Wisconsin for many other bands. And it was cool to get some deep cuts and see the guys clearly just having a blast, playing whatever the hell they felt like playing. Also, there was a mini-Temple of the Dog reunion, which was probably the night's highlight. My biggest regret is not getting a chance to walk through the PJ20 museum.

The Rest:
Death Cab for Cutie at Stage AE, Pittsburgh, 8/6
Lindsey Buckingham at Carnegie Library Music Hall, Pittsburgh, 9/20
The Jayhawks at Mr. Small's Funhouse, Pittsburgh, 10/16
Arctic Monkeys at Stage AE, Pittsburgh, 10/18
Chris Cornell at Carnegie Music Hall of Oakland, Pittsburgh, 12/2

I still haven't gotten into watching all the critical darlings, like The Good Wife, Breaking Bad and Modern Family. I did catch a couple of episodes of the latter and thought it was pretty funny, but I always forget when it's on. Even if it's on right after Suburgatory, which I have been trying to watch on a regular basis.

The Best: Community. Same as last year. It's so hard for me to comprehend how this show can be in any danger of being canceled. It featured one of the best episodes of any show this year, "Remedial Chaos Theory," which was at once funny, smart, insightful, weird, sweet and depressing. But my favorite episode that aired this year was Season 2's "Paradigms of Human Memory," which hilariously skewered "clip shows" by taking us all down memory lane to a bunch of stuff that never happened. Just brilliant.

The Rest: Parks and Recreation (although it might be close to a tie with Community), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 30 Rock, The Soup, Project Runway, Suburgatory, Up All Night, Once Upon a Time. I've tried following Terra Nova and the aforementioned Modern Family, but I haven't been able to make either one regularly scheduled viewing. I gave up on The Office (since Steve Carell left, it's been nearly unwatchable) and I'm pretty over Glee. I don't think I can continue on with it...especially since Community's Glee spoof episode was 10 times better than anything the real Glee has ever done (not counting Jonathan Groff's dreamy guest spots).

The Best of the Worst: It's a tie! First, there's New Girl. I'm sorry, I know it's just a typical schlocky sitcom, but Zooey Deschanel just looks at me with those big, beautiful eyes and makes silly voices, and I can't help but giggle and sit there in rapt enjoyment. Then we have terrible reality series, Tough Love, which I actually found myself occasionally DVRing. Kill me now.

Just the Worst: American Horror Story. Really? People like this? Those people better not give me shit about liking New Girl. Sheesh.

As usual, I stayed away from theaters for the most part. Most of the movies I saw this year were thanks to either Netflix or Redbox.

The Best: I honestly can't pick which movie I thought was the best. Most people would look at my list and yell, "Give it to Bridesmaids! That was the funniest movie in the history of the world!!!" Well, I did think it was very funny, but I didn't think it necessarily lived up to all of the hype. So, I don't know. I'll just grade each movie I saw this year. (These are in order of release, if Wikipedia can be trusted.) The ones I actually saw in the theater (or drive-in, in at least one case) are in green.
  • Hall Pass: C
  • The Adjustment Bureau: B
  • Insidious: D
  • Scream 4: B-
  • Bridesmaids: A-
  • Super 8: B
  • Bad Teacher: C+
  • Horrible Bosses: B-
  • Our Idiot Brother: C+
  • Paranormal Activity 3: B
  • The Muppets: B+
Well, hey, look at that. I guess Bridesmaids was the best, after all!

Duhhhhhh. This is, um, like my leastest literate year ever in forever and stuff. Even leaster than last year when I said the same thing. I seriously haven't read shit. Perhaps my New Year's resolution will be to play less Words with Friends and read more words on paper.

Other Good Stuff
  • Jimmy Fallon as Jim Morrison singing the Reading Rainbow theme. Amazing. Why has Hulu shut off access to this video already? WHY??
  • WEll, at least THIS is still available.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Top 20 Singles of 2011

It's that time of year again when we music-loving bloggers offer up our favorites of the year and open ourselves up to praise, ridicule and/or the obligatory "I can't believe x ranked higher than y" or "How could you forget [horrible noises] by [over-glorified über-indie hipster band of the moment]" comments. Have at it, monkeys.

Earlier this week, I posted my Top 20 Albums list, so now it's time to take a look at my favorite singles of the year.

Rules are there ain't no rules. OK, there actually are a few:
1) All singles must have been released in 2011. (This may get bent.)
2) No artist can be represented more than once.
3) No Bon Iver! Because really, come on. UGH.

And away we go...

20. Rope
Foo Fighters (from Wasting Light)
I've never really been a giant Foo fan, despite being a pretty big fan of Dave Grohl's. He just seems like an awesome dude. He also has an endless supply of melodic rock songs (like this one), even if I don't always pay attention to them. It's kind of weird that they're such a huge band that's always cranking out hits and filling stadiums, yet their post-'90s catalog is a total blur to me. The last single of theirs prior to "Rope" that I can actually remember is "Best of You," which is like six years old already. I guess I'll be saying, "Hey, I really liked that song 'Rope'" four albums from now.

19. Palomino
Mates of State (from Mountaintops)
I think my old roommate kept telling me to check this group out and I never got around to it until this year. I didn't really see the big deal. I mean, they make some enjoyable, sing-a-long tunes, but it's nothing earth-shattering. Maybe my expectations were too high after all that hounding? Who knows. I do dig this song a lot, though. It reminds me of a lost New Pornographers track.

18. Call Your Girlfriend
Robyn (from Body Talk)
It's gotta be tricky business to write a song about a guy leaving his girlfriend for another woman from that other woman's perspective without making her come off as the villain. But Robyn manages to do just that in this song about a boyfriend thief who's nice enough to give her man some tips on breaking up gracefully. And hey, you can dance to it! Right out the door.

17. Cruel
St. Vincent (from Strange Mercy)
All the super cool kids were buzzing about St. Vincent's new album this year, while I didn't even know what a St. Vincent was or that it even had albums before. I soon found out that St. Vincent was actually Annie Clark—yet another solo artist performing under a band-like moniker (this is the hip thing now, I guess)—formerly of The Polyphonic Spree, a band I do know. (Five indie points for me!) I gave Annie's album a whirl but gave up due to weirdness. However, I did come out of it with this little gem of a single, which is also featured in one of the best/weirdest/coolest/creepiest videos of the year.

16. Still Life
The Horrors (from Skying)
I mentioned in my Best Albums post that once The Horrors dropped the whole "we're a roving gang of big-haired morticians" act, they started to make really good music. Actually, they still kind of look like big-haired morticians, but at least they've dropped the lame Treehouse of Horror credits-style pseudonyms.

15. Mine Smell Like Honey
R.E.M. (from Collapse Into Now)
I have to admit that I stopped caring about R.E.M. right after they released Monster, which I thought was terrible and viewed as the beginning of the end of their reign as the college rock gods. And I was kind of right, because the band's popularity began to wane here in the U.S. (for everyone except Beth Coffey) around that time. Aside from a couple of really good songs here and there ("Imitation of Life," "Leaving New York"), most of their output was forgettable until 2008's Accelerate. And just when R.E.M. became a band I could fully get behind again with this year's Collapse Into Now, they broke up. Pffft.

14. Helplessness Blues
Fleet Foxes (from Helplessness Blues)
OK, so I used to dislike Fleet Foxes. I thought they were boring. Their latest album, and especially this beautiful song, helped me change my mind. Don't go getting any ideas that a similar breakthrough will occur with Bon Iver.

13. No One Listens to the Band Anymore
The Damnwells (from No One Listens to the Band Anymore)
Er, I think this was a single. It's kind of hard to determine since this album was self-released and funded through fan pledges. I hope it is, because the song is super-catchy and deserves to be listed here. Google has led me to believe that it is a single, and Google has rarely steered me wrong in the past. The Googles know all!!

12. Longing to Belong
Eddie Vedder (from Ukulele Songs)
It's Eddie Vedder. Strumming a ukulele. Longing to belong to ME. Why wouldn't it be on my list??

11. Techno Fan
The Wombats (from This Modern Glitch)
I've pledged my adoration for this band many times on my blog. Their music is just so much fun and they're so delightfully British. I always learn new slang terms from their songs. Like in this one, "I didn't spend 20 sheets to not cut a shape." That sounds so much better than, "I didn't pay a $20 cover to not dance."

10. Lucky Now
Ryan Adams (from Ashes & Fire)
Ahhhh, Ryan Adams. He sure does have some purty songs in his purty mouth. The day I'm not a sucker for them is a day I don't want to see.

9. Shook Down
Yuck (from Yuck)
It's like Teenage Fanclub and The Lemonheads had a shiny little baby. More importantly, it's like I'm in my early 20s again, back in college and blissfully unaware that my degree is worth shit. Oh, '90s. How I miss you.

8. Rolling in the Deep
Adele (from 21)
Technically, this song was released as a single in November 2010. But who cares about two little months? It didn't really become a monster hit until this year. And despite being everywhere at once, I've amazingly never gotten sick of it.

7. Under Cover of Darkness
The Strokes (from Angles)
Confession: I was something of a Strokes-hater for a while. I think it had something to do with all of those "The" bands hitting at once and being praised for bringing back garage rock, which I don't think ever really went away. Anyway, I started to soften toward The Strokes around the time that Julian Casablancas did his brilliant cover of the SNL holiday classic, "I Wish It Was Christmas Today" and then showed up in the hilarious digital short, "Boombox." I managed to catch the band at PJ20, and to my surprise, I really liked them. Since then, I've been enjoying their old stuff with fresh ears and playing the hell out of this song, which is actually a ray of light shining out of a somewhat mediocre album.

6. Better Off Without You
Summer Camp (from Welcome to Condale)
Summer Camp is to the '80s what Yuck is to the '90s: an amazing amalgamation of everything musically awesome about the decade. The whole album is great fun, but this single is a stroke of genius. It's as if Debbie Harry joined the Go-Go's and this new band (The Go-Blondies?) recorded the theme song for Footloose 2: Boogaloo in Paradise.

5. Lonely Boy
The Black Keys (from El Camino)
I think I originally had this song at #4 but then I played it too much and docked it a point due to overexposure. It's not the song's fault; it's mine. Although, it is kind of The Black Keys' fault for making its video impossible to stop watching.

4. Blue Eyes
Middle Brother (from Middle Brother)
This was another song that I wasn't sure had actually been released as a single, but Rolling Stone claimed it had. Now, I don't trust RS as much as I trust The Googles, but I'm just gonna take their word for it because this happens to be my favorite track from the Middle Brother album. And it might have one of my favorite lines ever: "I've been looking for some time/In a world full of numbers for my prime." Hey, what's more romantic than math references? (Speaking of, I'd let Matt Vasquez plug his solution into my equation, if you know what I mean.)

3. Suck It and See
Arctic Monkeys (from Suck It and See)
Who would have ever thought that a song with such a dirty-sounding title would be one of the best sad-but-sweet love songs of the year? Well, it is, thanks to Alex Turner, who continues to prove himself as one of his generation's most talented songwriters. "Your kiss, it could put creases in the rain?" What does that even mean? Who knows? Who cares? It's gorgeous!

2. Vomit
Girls (from Father, Son, Holy Ghost)
Certain songs you just need to listen to in a darkened room. Or at the very least with your eyes closed. This is one of those songs. It may be THE song. (Hence, it's not really the best song to put on, say, a driving-to-Florida mix.) This indie epic begins with somber guitar strumming, ends in a full-on gospel explosion and rocks the fuzz out in between. The whole song is fantastic, but the closing two minute or so segment—when the organ comes in and the backup singer really starts wailing—is an experience.

1. The Edge of Glory
Lady Gaga (from Born This Way)
Laugh if you want, but after I heard this song for the first time, I played it like 10 more times. It felt like Gaga had just thrown me in her DeLorean and gunned it to 88. (Of course, I was sitting on Clarence Clemons' lap the whole time, but I didn't mind.) And hate on Gaga all you want but not only does she write some of the catchiest pop songs you'll ever hear, but she also introduced a whole new generation to the Big Man before he left us. If she prompted even one clueless kid to discover the beauty of "Jungleland," she deserves some kind of award.

Honorable mentions: "Midnight City," M83; "If You Wanna," The Vaccines; "I Don't Want Love," The Antlers; "You're Too Weird," Fruit Bats; "Helena Beat," Foster the People

Monday, December 26, 2011

The Top 20 Albums of 2011

No, hipsters, your oversized, ironic eyeglasses do not deceive you: you've found the one "best of" album list that doesn't include that maddeningly terribly Bon Iver record or Destroyer's pleasant but snore-inducing Kaputt. Hurry up and click somewhere else! Save yourself!!

To you non-hipsters who have stayed, allow me to present my favorite albums of 2011. I already covered several records in July's "Best Of...So Far" post, so you can find more info on some of the selections there.

20. Kiss Each Other Clean, Iron & Wine

19. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
This year saw yet another battle between the Gallagher brothers, when both released their new bands' albums. Although I liked Liam's first single with Beady Eye ("The Roller"), it was just another reminder that Liam really, really, REALLY wants to be John Lennon instead of the whiny Neanderthal that he is. And while little brother's claim that Noel's new record has "no attitude" may be true, Noel's still a better songwriter, and that's what counts. And I may be in the minority, but I like his voice better, too.

Listen to: "If I Had A Gun"

Other choice cuts: "AKA...What A Life!," "AKA...Broken Arrow," "Dream On"

18. Early In The Morning, James Vincent McMorrow

17. Ukulele Songs, Eddie Vedder

16. The Old Magic, Nick Lowe
Possibly Lowe's best album since 1985's The Rose of England, this one is a toe-tapping mix of Rat Pack-style smoothness, old school country and Sun Records-era pop rock. It may not be as exciting as punk or New Wave, but who wants to hear a 62-year-old guy still claiming to be half a boy and half a man?

Listen to: "Checkout Time"

Other choice cuts: "Stoplight Roses," "Somebody Cares For Me," "I Read A Lot"

15. Hurry Up, We're Dreaming, M83
This is just the first of many records on my list that is keeping the '80s alive and well. Everyone has praised the hell out of this record (especially the hit single, "Midnight City"), and while it is good (otherwise it wouldn't be here), it probably could have benefited from some editing. This really didn't need to be a double album. At some point, all the dramatic synths and ethereal, unintelligible vocals get to be a bit much, and it would be nice if that point didn't occur before "Steve McQueen," one of the best tracks, buried all the way down at #19.

Listen to: "Reunion"

Other choice cuts:
"Midnight City," "Steve McQueen," "OK Pal"

14. Torches, Foster the People
So, this album may not be the most brilliant or most original (it's essentially The Bee Gees-meets-MGMT), but it beats Hurry Up, We're Dreaming because it's short, sweet and enjoyable from beginning to end. And if you think their breakout hit is the best Foster the People has to offer, you obviously haven't heard either "Helena Beat" or "I Would Do Anything For You," both of which kick "Pumped Up Kicks" in the ass.

Listen to: "I Would Do Anything For You"

Other choice cuts: "Helena Beat," "Call It What You Want," "Waste"

13. 21, Adele

12. What Did You Expect From The Vaccines?, The Vaccines
Occasionally, I get emails from music publicists who think I'm a lot more important than I really am. And occasionally, I actually end up liking the artists they are pimping out. Unfortunately, this only happens, like, 30% of the time. So when Press Here sent me the demo of The Vaccines' "If You Wanna," I didn't expect much, but was pleasantly surprised to find the kind of bouncy guitar rock that I can never resist. The rest of the new UK darlings' debut album offers much of the same—an album that's prompted plenty of apt comparisons to The Ramones, The Strokes and The Jesus and Mary Chain. If there's a misstep on the record, it's "Blow It Up," which shamelessly nicks the melody of The Beatles' "I Should Have Known Better."

Listen to: "If You Wanna"

Other choice cuts: "Wetsuit," "Post Break-Up Sex," "Wolf Pack"

11. Skying, The Horrors
Aside from a couple of songs here and there, I never really got The Horrors. They always seemed to me a bit like a goth parody band. But they've finally gotten rid of the Addams Family vibe (and their ridiculous pseudonyms, like Faris Rotter and Coffin Joe) and grabbed my attention with their best and most consistent album. What's great about this record is that while the band's influences are obvious—everything has a hint of The Jesus and Mary Chain, Echo and the Bunnymen and Simple Minds—there are no straight-up rip-offs here. Just a lot of great melodies. (Pointless trivia: Bassist Tom Cowan's brother Freddie is The Vaccines' guitarist, which could explain both bands' Jesus and Mary Chain fixation. Or maybe it's just because they're British and pretty much every modern British band is influenced by JMC.)

Listen to: "Dive In"

Other choice cuts: "Still Life," "Endless Blue," "You Said"

10. No One Listens to the Band Anymore, The Damnwells
Truly an album "for fans," The Damnwells' latest was made possible by donations through the fundraising website PledgeMusic. The band (or I should say singer/songwriter Alex Dezen and whoever he has playing his music these days) isn't exactly breaking new ground, but this record is one of the most instantly catchy collection of songs I've heard in a while. Luckily, The Damnwells have some of the street cred and under-the-radar presence that comes from being a long-struggling indie outfit, otherwise, this album would have been raked over the coals on Pitchfork and other snob sites as the WORST THING IN THE WORLD: pleasant pop.

Listen to: "Feast of Hearts"

Other choice cuts: "No One Listens to the Band Anymore," "Werewolves," "She Goes Around"

9. Ashes & Fire, Ryan Adams
I've always kind of thought that sobriety was responsible for Aerosmith's suckage in the late '90s and beyond. And I believe that Fleetwood Mac never made an album better than Rumours, when they were at their self-destructive best. So, I was all prepared for Ryan Adams—now off the sauce and married to a former pop princess—to start his backslide into shitty territory. Happily, that's not the case, and this is another strong record from Adams, whom I still love even though he apparently dissed Neil Finn...a big no-no in my book.

Listen to: "Invisible Riverside"

Other choice cuts: "Lucky Now," "Kindness," "Rocks"

8. Welcome to Condale, Summer Camp
While this may not have been my favorite album of the year, it was my favorite discovery. When I heard it, I started to wonder if there was an '80s spring break movie/soundtrack I had actually never seen/heard. Of course, having watched a ridiculous amount of USA Up All Night, I knew that could never be the case. But the UK duo of Elizabeth Sankey and Jeremy Warmsley do such a totally rad job of bringing my beloved decade to life that it would be easy to trick, say, a Gen Y-er into believing that their 2011 debut really is an obscure album from 1982. (Added bonus for me: the snippet of dialogue from The Boy in the Plastic Bubble that opens "I Want You.")

Listen to: "Brian Krakow"

Other choice cuts: "Better Off Without You," "Down," "Done Forever"

7. This Modern Glitch, The Wombats

6. Born This Way, Lady Gaga

5. Father, Son, Holy Ghost, Girls
Thank God for my discovery this year of, which has introduced me to a ton of new and previously unheard music. Girls is one of those bands I'd never checked out before, despite the praise that had been heaped on them upon the release of 2009's Album. I decided to give their latest a spin one day while I was at work and, as tends to happen, I was busy and only half-listening to it until around track 5, when I just stopped what I was doing and was like, "Whoa...I need to start this over...and turn it up." Luckily, it was a day when my boss wasn't in the office, so I got away with cranking the volume up a bit. On this record, Girls takes a variety of different influences (from the Beach Boys to Pink Floyd) and a variety of styles (from power pop to gospel) and expertly blends them all into one unique and delicious musical cocktail.

Listen to: "Magic"

Other choice cuts: "Vomit," "My Ma," "Just a Song"

4. Yuck, Yuck

3. Middle Brother, Middle Brother

2. El Camino, The Black Keys
Re-activating my weird crush on Dan Auerbach is The Black Keys' latest—a sexy, bouncy, fun as hell album that I can't stop listening to. Pitchfork's Rob Harvilla described El Camino as, "[The Black Keys'] best and (not coincidentally) goofiest album, a veritable frat-worthy "Pimp 'n' Ho" party in which T. Rex has somehow been tricked into serving as house band." Now, I would normally NEVER quote Pitchfork. But, holy shit, that description is so dead-on and better than anything I could come up with that I must.

Listen to: "Sister"

Other choice cuts: "Lonely Boy," "Gold on the Ceiling," "Stop Stop"

1. Suck It and See, Arctic Monkeys

Honorable mentions: Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes; The Whole Love, Wilco; Mission Bell, Amos Lee; Codes and Keys, Death Cab for Cutie; House of Balloons, The Weeknd

Best album cover: Zonoscope, Cut Copy

Biggest disappointments: Circuital, My Morning Jacket; All You Need Is Now, Duran Duran

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Veddermas!

'Twas 47 years ago on this day that a musical saviour was born in the magical city of Evanston, Illinois. As always at this time of year, I'll ask you to open your hymnals to page 122308 and read the passage wherein the comparison between Eddie Vedder and Jesus is made (and my seat in purgatory is secured).

Pass the wine and rejoice, all ye lovers of music and hot men!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

The Hotties of 2011

Welcome, one and all, to my first year-end list, which honors this year's outstanding achievements in hotness. Just as they did last year, my unchanging Top 4, aka the Patron Saints of Hotness—St. John, St. Eddie, St. Ewan and St. Damon—will watch over my newly anointed (or, in many cases, re-anointed) ones, helping them pray to the Gods of Good Looks for continued blessings.

And Top 10 Hotties of 2011!

1. Matthew Vasquez
I'm really not sure how Matt got left off last year's list, considering that's when my obsession with Delta Spirit took hold. I guess I was just too busy paying attention to their music to notice how gorgeous the frontman was. Take that, anyone who's ever accused me of liking bands based on the attractiveness of their members! I could never do that. I mean, I've finally stopped denying that Adam Levine is good looking, but I'd still rather be waterboarded than be forced to listen to Maroon 5. The music comes first. Hotness is just a bonus.

2. Jeremy Sisto
It wasn't long ago that Jeremy had been my steady #3 Man, but in the last few years, he'd kind of fallen off my radar. Now he's back on my TV as a total DILF in Suburgatory (a show I actually watch, as opposed to his last couple series, Kidnapped and Law & Order: The Death Throes), looking fitter than I've seen him in a while, thereby putting him back on my "must have" list. And while it is refreshing to see him play a nice, normal, non-brooding guy for a change, I certainly wouldn't complain if he grew out his hair again and brought back a little of that crazy Billy Chenowith vibe.

3. Charlie Day
The Dayman Returneth! Somehow, Charlie only made it to the honorable mentions last year, which makes me wonder if I was sniffing a lot of glue around the time I made my list. But luckily, he was everywhere this year and his hair never ceased to amaze, reminding me of how much I adore him and making it impossible for me to not include him high up in the ranking.

4. Joel McHale
As you may have figured out by now, there's nothing I find hotter than a funny man. (OK, well maybe except for a really hot guy with a guitar. Sorry I'm such a terrible, typical woman.) Joel is my first repeat from last year's list because of his continued awesomeness, which I'm constantly being reminded of, whether it be via E!'s 54 airings per week of The Soup or via Community, aka THE BEST SHOW ON TV DESPITE WHAT THE NBC KNOW-NOTHINGS SAY.

5. Dierks Bentley
I like a lot of Dierks' songs, but I wasn't really feeling the album he released this year. But just because I'm not listening doesn't mean that I can't keep looking at the guy and maybe flipping back and forth to whatever country music award show happens to be on at the moment in the hopes of seeing him and his lovely curly locks.

6. Hugh Jackman
The hottest Aussie in the land (chew on that, Michael Johns!) was absent from the 2010 list only because he was kind of M.I.A. last year. And even though I didn't see any of the movies he was in this year, I did see his cute little cameo on SNL and some nice photos of his summer beach escapades. Also, it was recently announced that he'll be playing Jean Valjean in the big screen adaptation of the musical version of Les Misérables. One of my favorite hunks starring in a film based on my favorite musical, which was based on my favorite book?? Grease better watch out...this may just end up being my favorite movie. (Well, probably not. But it could be close.)

7. Jon Hamm
And here is the second repeat from last year's list, Jon Hamm. What I love most about this guy is that I don't feel extremely shallow for drooling over him because I can always make myself sound less superficial by saying, "Well, sure he's incredibly handsome, but he's REALLY funny, too." And he is. But let's face it: it wouldn't matter if he wasn't.

8. Will Arnett
Speaking of really funny...I've always loved Will's brand of humor. And I've always found him attractive. However, much like when I first developed a crush on Jason Segel, I kind of fought this attraction because he just seemed so creepy, which, in turn made me feel creepy for liking him. But playing a romantic (but still goofy and awkward) lead in Up All Night has helped to lower his creepy factor and allow the world to see that he is one good-looking dude. Although, if I'm being completely honest, I might actually have a bigger crush on his wife, Amy Poehler. If she can do his voice, she wins.

9. Jason Sudeikis
Jason is the third holdover from last year's list, although he did fall 3 notches in the ranking (as did Hamm). Not sure why this is. Maybe it was the whole dating January Jones thing? She might be pretty, but that chick is the worst. Seriously, the only time you'll ever hear a casting director say, "January Jones would be perfect for this role!" is if they ever make Mannequin 3: This Time the Mannequin Doesn't Actually Come to Life. Oh, I'm sorry...this space isn't supposed to be about ripping on women I don't like, it's supposed to be about objectifying men I do like. So, here's a little something for Jason Sudeikis: *ahem* A-WOOOO-gaaa! Mama like!!

10. Ryan Gosling
I'd like to take this opportunity to pat myself on the back for branching out a bit, as Ryan counts as the SECOND blonde on my list! I loves me some brunettes. Anyway...I don't know what it is about Baby Goose. He's kind of weird looking, right? The way his features are put together seems all wrong, but somehow he's incredibly sexy. You know what's even weirder? He's been in, like, 300 movies this year and I haven't seen any of them.

Honorable mentions: Jonathan Groff (hard to believe he went from #1 to somewhere around #11), Ian Somerhalder, Mark Foster, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

2011: The Year in Memes

Ta-daa! As promised, I've returned. Yeah, I got a little burned out there for a while, but I'm just a moth and year-end best-of bullshit posts are my flame, baby. So, I'll be delving into all the important best-ofs — like music and hot dudes —pretty soon. But let's ease back into this with a little graphic representation of 2011's most memorable memes. (Last year's memes were better. Just sayin'. Get with it, Internet.)

(Click to enlarge.)


Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine