Thursday, September 28, 2006

Hmm. Turns Out I AM a Reality TV Whore

I never thought of myself as a giant reality-TV junkie. I'm proud of the fact that I've never seen a single episode of Survivor. (The 10-second snippet I watched just to prove to myself that it was as dumb as I thought it was doesn't count.) However, I recently found a list of all the reality shows that have been on in recent years and was alarmed at the sheer volume of crap I've been watching. Let me show you what I mean. Settle in, it might be a long one.

[Note: I'm not counting shows from the list that I feel are strictly game shows, (Deal or No Deal) dating shows (Shipmates) or home-improvement shows (Trading Spaces, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition) because I don't think they're really part of the genre. But that's just my opinion.]

8th & Ocean - A angsty teen version of America's Next Top Model. Watched it occasionally. I always wanted the nice blonde twin to beat the hell out of her bitchy sister.

American Idol - I've been watching AI since mid-way into the first season. I'm not ashamed.

America's Next Top Model - Got hooked on this during the 2nd season. I didn't watch too much of it last year, but I'm back into it now. It's fun.

The Apprentice - Like AI, I started watching mid-way into the first season, when Omarosa became a household name. Still love it, although I'm bummed that Trump fired Carolyn.

Average Joe - I'm actually embarassed to admit that I watched the first season off and on. And gee, I was so surprised that the bimbo picked the "model guy" over her "average Joe."

The Bachelor and The Bachelorette - I'm lumping these two pathetic pieces of crap together. I never watched a full season. I'm not even sure I got through an entire episode of either. But I did check both out occasionally in the early stages. I think I watched The Bachelorette more because the guy Trista ended up marrying was hot. She was annoying as hell though.

Beauty and the Geek - Kind of cute and much better than Average Joe. The first season was pretty good, but I couldn't get through the 2nd attempt.

Big Brother All-Stars - I watched one episode of this and it wasn't by choice. I was staying at my best friend's house and she loved it, so I was forced to endure it. Never watched any of the seasons. I don't even understand the concept.

Brat Camp - I didn't even remember this one until I saw it on the list. I vaguely recall watching the first few episodes, but must've gotten bored.

Celebrity Fit Club - Occasionally, I'll stop on this if I'm flipping through the channels, but I've never fully gotten into it since the first season.

Dog Eat Dog - I remember my niece loving this show. I watched it a few times. Seemed like a watered-down version of Fear Factor mixed with some Big Brother.

Dancing With the Stars - I enjoyed the first season, but thought J. Peterman should've won. Didn't watch it much at all last season and caught the most recent episode of this season last night. Joey Lawrence's baldness scares me.

Extreme Makeover - I just like to watch the very beginning and then the very end. The in-between is gross. Nothing worse than seeing a doctor whacking at a nose with a mallet or sucking fat out of someone's ass.

Fame - Ugh, yeah I watched this short-lived show. All the way until the end. No idea why. No one's ever heard from the winner, whose name I can't even remember. I just remember that he was hyper, emotional and very short. But, the 2nd runner-up, Shannon, is now a member of Danity Kane.

Fear Factor - Watched it a bit at the beginning (and of course I watched the celeb episode with Kelly Preston, since her hubby showed up). I don't mind the stunts, but I don't understand how eating disgusting shit like maggots and monkey balls makes anyone brave. Not eating it makes you smart. Not wanting to throw up or get severely ill has nothing to do with fear, it's just common sense.

Flavor of Love - I watched the first season. It was mildly amusing. I think Flav has definitely worn out his welcome at this point.

HGTV Design Star - I'm no longer working for their PR firm, but I still checked this out on occasion. Not too often because I could never remember when it was on. I couldn't stand the beauty pageant chick who was one of the contestants. She acted like a bitch to everyone during the challenges and then would cry in front of the judges and try to act all sweet and fragile. Bimbo. I never saw the ending so I have no idea who won, I just know it wasn't her.

High School Reunion - My memory of this show is very hazy, but I remember starting to get into it and then completely losing interest.

Hit Me Baby One More Time - This one was about one hit wonders from the '80s looking for another shot at fame. It wasn't very good. Wang Chung sang Nelly's "Hot in Herre" and I didn't know whether to cry, scream, laugh or vomit. Oh, I do remember Haddaway ("What is Love") doing a version of Britney Spears' "Toxic" that was pretty good. But if Haddaway covering "Toxic" is your shining moment, you're probably not a very compelling TV show.

Jackass - I couldn't turn away. I'm a huge lover of slapstick and idiocy. Not sure if this should really be considered "reality TV" though. It's just stupid comedy.

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - I don't get Oxygen here, but I saw an episode of this on my last visit back to Pittsburgh. I was dying to see it, because Janice was always the best part of ANTM and she was pretty hilarious on The Surreal Life. However, this woman can only be taken in small doses as part of an ensemble cast. As the star, she is just shrill and obnoxious.

Joe Millionaire - Didn't watch the whole thing. I just thought that Evan dude was a complete tool. I was hoping that whoever he picked would tell him to piss off. Of course she did, but waited until later when they were off-camera.

The Joe Schmo Show - This show was actually kind of funny. They duped some guy into thinking he was on a reality show, when really it was just all about him and getting him to act and react to their scripted plot. The guy (another one whose name I can't remember) was from Pittsburgh, so that was cool.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List - I have to say, I couldn't stand this broad before I started watching this show. My roommate loves her, so he forced me to watch the first time. I was amazed by how funny it really was. I still am not a big fan of her stand-up, but I totally enjoyed this show.

Kept - I didn't see this on the list, but I used to watch it. I even wrote a big post about it once. As it turned out, Jerry Hall did pick Seth (my favorite) to be her new luvah, but I only know that because I looked it up online. I stopped watching about 4 weeks before it was over. Don't know why.

Last Comic Standing - Every season I start watching this show and then quit halfway through. I guess the comics just aren't that funny. Or I get sucked into some other crappy show.

Making the Band - I was annoyed with this the first time around, when Diddy infamously ordered his proteges to walk to Brooklyn for some cheesecake. Somehow I got sucked in during his attempt to form a girl band.

Mr. Romance - I keep waiting for a new season of this show!! Please, Oxygen, bring it back!! Actually, wait until I can actually get Oxygen. This has to be one of my all-time favorite reality shows. It was so open about its cheesiness. Basically, it was a hunt to find the next Fabio. All of these guys (some of whom were exceptionally hot) had to go through "Romance Academy." Oh, it was great.

My Fair Brady - The courtship of Adrienne Curry and Christopher Knight. Very cute show with the occasional overblown drama that you would expect from quasi-celebrity types.

Nashville Star - Just like AI, but more country and more talent. No Simon though.

Nanny 911 and Supernanny - I'm putting these two together, because they're the same exact premise. I don't know which one came first, but I like Supernanny much, much better. I think I've only seen Nanny 911 once or twice. I couldn't stand the way that old, Scottish nanny spoke...and I normally like Scottish accents! I think it was just the way she said "baby." It was like "bebbeh." And she said it a lot in the episode I saw. The 911 Nannies just aren't as groovy as Jo Frost. Still, I can't watch Supernanny too often because the atrocious behavior of some of those kids (parents' fault) makes me want to smash things.

Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica - Ok, I only watched this because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and I only watched it once. Believe me, that was more than enough.

Project Runway - This is one of the best TV shows on right now. Who doesn't love Tim Gunn?

Punk'd - Like Jackass, I don't know if this qualifies as a "reality show" either, but it was on the list. I guess it does. I don't watch it all the time, but Ashton Kutcher comes up with some pretty funny stuff.

The Real World, Road Rules and Real World/Road Rules Challenges - I'm lumping all of these together too. I loved RW at the beginning, but it's become so insanely formulaic. I never got into RR as much as I did with RW, but the Challenges kick both of their asses. I love those challenges. The new one starts next month.

Rockstar - As a fan of the original INXS, I refused to watch their search to replace the irreplaceable Michael Hutchence. However, since Supernova was a new group, I decided to check out the 2nd season. I wasn't addicted to it and always forgot that it was on, but I was pulling for Dilana to win. But it came as no surprise that the little glass-eating goth boy got the gig.

So You Think You Can Dance - Another one that my roommate got me hooked on. I started watching halfway through this season and ended up really liking it. I just never dug when the dancers would do their "solo" dances. They always looked the same and they lasted about 10 seconds. I didn't see the point.

Star Search - If we're talking the original with Ed McMahon, hell yes I watched it all the time. If we're talking the remake with Arsenio, that would be a big N-O.

The Surreal Life - I think I've watched this from the beginning. That may have been the season with that fat bastard, Vince Neil. It's always overly dramatic and obviously many of these D-listers are acting for the cameras, but it's still pretty funny.

The One - The One episode I watched was lousy.

Tommy Lee Goes to College - I thought it would be very stupid, but it was actually quite funny. Too bad Tommy is still an idiot.

Trading Spouses - I've only seen it a few times. I usually get sucked into an episode by some wife/mother who is an absolutely abysmal human being and then, like with the nanny shows, I want to smash things. (I'm not being sexist or a traitor to my gender, it just so happens that everytime I watch, it's one of the women who needs to be smacked the most.)

Wow. That's a lot of garbage TV I've been ingesting. Well, it could be worse. At least I've never watched The Simple Life or Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Then I would really have to smash things. Namely, my remote and my skull.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Forgotten Classic Video of the Week

For those of you who could've sworn this started as a "Video of the MONTH" deal, you're not crazy. It was to be a monthly post. But I've been getting so much enjoyment from looking for old vids on YouTube that I've decided that one per month just isn't enough. (It's also a sneaky way to ensure that I post to this blog at least once a week, in case I have nothing else interesting to talk about.) Hopefully I won't burn through my favorites so quickly that I run out of good videos in a month or two!

So now, that's out of the way. On to this week's video.

You've probably seen mention of this song in several of my other blog posts. I've always had trouble picking a "favorite song," but if I were forced to pick my favorite '80s song, it would be this one - Charlie Sexton's "Beat's So Lonely." I had quite a crush on Charlie back in the day. He's equal parts Eddie (Michael Pare) Wilson, Donovan Leitch, Billy Idol and, since he's a bit more androgynous and model-esque than The King, Lisa Marie Presley.

Enjoy! But don't ever ask him to play this song live. Unless you want to be "shushed."

Monday, September 25, 2006

Waiting to Be Kidnapped by Jeremy Sisto

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was determined to add Kidnapped to my list of must-see shows for the Fall season, but that I would probably have to end up taping it because it airs opposite Project Runway. As it turned out, I did get to watch the premiere on Wednesday since PR was a repeat. I had planned on doing a full review of the show, but my brain is fried these days and now I can't remember much of it. I do remember Sisto though. Oh yes, I remember Sisto.

Jeremy is looking a bit rumpled and scruffy (scruffier than this pic) for his role as Knapp, the rogue kidnap-recovery specialist. I dig the scruffy look. It becomes him. I'm glad he's finally able to show a network-TV audience what a great actor he is too. In a role that could easily be overdone, (think Mel Gibson as Lethal Weapon's rogue cop, Riggs) Jeremy is tough (but not too tough) and delivers his lines like a guy who really has been doing this kind of work all his life.

Timothy Hutton, who plays the father of the kidnap victim, has certainly aged well. I've always liked him as an actor, but I didn't find him particularly engaging in the first episode. Dana Delaney did a good job as the mother. I've always liked Delroy Lindo, ever since I saw him in Get Shorty. His FBI agent is a pretty cool dude and, like Sisto, Lindo plays his man with restraint. There was another FBI agent who filled the requisite "over-the-top" character though. I'm not sure who played him, but he was the typical "we do things MY way because I know everything" guy who, of course, does things his way and screws everything up. When will those by-the-book guys ever learn?? Leave it to the rogues, man.

I admit that I had a hard time following the action, but I think that was mainly because my roommates kept talking. (Sure, but if I let out a peep during one of Heidi Klum's "auf weidersehen" moments, I get my head bit off.) Also, I'm not a fan of that weird, choppy editing. Like, a guy is sitting at his desk talking and all of a sudden you hear those "swish"-y sound effects, followed by pointless stop-motion, fast-forward weirdness. Whoever just decided one day that that was cool is a moron.

All in all, the show had some interesting sequences (the abduction scene, the subway scene and every scene Jeremy was in) and was well-written and acted. I'm looking forward to the next episode.

It's also quite possible that I'm moving to Brooklyn in January, and I understand that they've filmed a lot of Kidnapped around there. So now I have one major goal for 2007: Meet Sisto. Maybe he'll even let me buy him a slice of cheesecake at Junior's. Cheesecake with Sisto. Now that's just a little slice of Heaven.

Disclaimer: Jeremy, if by chance you come across this blog, I'm perfectly sane. I'm not like May or anything.

Follow-up: If anyone didn't understand the last reference, go rent Jeremy's movie, "May". It's quite freakish.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Eye Boogers

Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following news items are curiously fascinating:

Grey's Anatomy Beats CSI in First Ratings Match-Up. Sure, Patrick Dempsey's got an amazing head of hair. But, come on! CSI is such a better show! How many "beautiful people with important jobs who rarely do actual work in between hooking up with each other" shows can we possibly need? And how can a show succeed when the lead character is such a simpering, whiny idiot? Meredith Grey is more annoying than Ally McBeal, if you can imagine that. Anyway, I think I know what CSI's problem is. It's the Sara/Grissom pairing. Sara Sidle is more annoying than Meredith Grey, if you can imagine that. None of us Grissom lovers (and there are a lot of us, even if he's quite a bit McOlder than McDreamy) want to see him with Little Miss Voice-Goes-Up-an-Octave-at-the-End-of-Every-Sentence. Come on, am I the only one who finds her manner of speaking supremely irritating?? Everything out of her mouth sounds like a question. Or maybe a story about band camp. (This one tiiiime, at the moooooorgue...).

Ashlee Simpson is Playing Roxie Hart in the London Run of "Chicago." Ahem. No, I'm not making this up. Gee, I hope the orchestra doesn't accidentally start playing the wrong song during one of her solo numbers. That would be tragic.

Supernova Thinks Hard to Come up with New Name. Since there is already a band called Supernova (even though no one has heard of them), the reality-show band consisting of Tommy Lee, Jason Newstead, Gilby Clarke and Azrael Abyss's long-lost cousin has been forced to choose a new name. After they put their heads together to form almost one complete brain, the guys brilliantly decided to call themselves Rock Star Supernova, which was the title of the TV show. Man, I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall for that meeting of the minds. I guess their first album will be called, It Doesn't Matter if We Suck, You Sheep Will Buy Our Record Anyway 'Cause We Were on TV. Meanwhile, I will be waiting to hear from Dilana again.

Willie Nelson Smokes Pot??? The Braided One got busted in Louisiana for having marijuana on his tour bus. This also just in: The Pope is still Catholic and bears everywhere are shitting in the woods.

British Press Resuscitating the Worn-Out "Travolta is Gay" Theory. Give it up, people. Not only is he married, but he's married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. If he was just looking for a beard I hardly think he would've waited so long to get married in the first place, when rumors have always been circulating about his sexual preference. And so what if he is gay? Well, it might break my heart a bit, but I'm used to disappointment. Not like I have any shot in hell with him either way, so it really doesn't matter. It wouldn't make him less hot or less of an actor. I love the line in this piece that reads, "A lawyer working for actor John Travolta has felt the need to deny that his client is gay after Travolta was pictured kissing another man on the mouth." Notice how they threw that "felt the need" in there?? It's like the writer is insinuating that he thinks the Travolta camp doth protest too much. As if to say, "hey, we're not accusing him of anything...just looking at the pictures." Then at the end of the article, the writer says that a body language expert (oh, that's a real job) studied the pics and said, "John appears to be really enjoying it. His head is leaning upwards, his lips are puckered, his body is leaning in to the guy...It appears to be quite intimate." Yeah, I can't imagine why John would "feel the need" to set the record straight. I'll tell ya, these British tabloids are even more annoying than the US ones. Horsey-faced, periodontally-challenged idiots. So, you all decide for yourselves. Here are the pictures in question. My take is this: While I don't have a B.S. in Body Linguistics from Gaydar University, it doesn't look like a hot-n-heavy gay kiss to me. Miss Body Language Expert must be blind, because John isn't "leaning in" at all. Both guys totally have that torsos-not-touching hetero buffer zone going on. There's certainly no tongue. And have these Eurotrash-talking morons forgotten that the hello/goodbye kiss is standard practice in their part of the world?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Hey Chris Parnell, Call Me!

VH1's Best Week Ever blog confirmed that the three Saturday Night Live cast members who are being canned are Horatio Sanz, Finesse Mitchell and Chris Parnell. Now, like Best Week Ever, I kind of agree with the first two.

Horatio Sanz is kind of funny, but only in that "look at that stupid fat guy" kind of way. That's all he can do. And he doesn't do it nearly as well as Chris Farley, may he rest in peace. Sanz constantly flubs his lines and has a case of Jimmy Fallonitis - the tendency to laugh in the middle of a skit, even if it's not all that funny. So, no biggie there.

Finesse Mitchell is mildly funny, but SNL has never been known for its ability to keep two black men in the cast at the same time. And if they had to cut one, better to cut Finesse and keep the teddy bear-esque Kenan Thompson.

But Chris Parnell??? He's only faltered once - when he tried to take over as Dubya after Will Ferrell left. That's hardly his fault. Ferrell played Bush better than Bush plays himself. (Thankfully, Will Forte has mastered the prez. Maybe only guys named Will can accurately portray him?) Other than that, everything he does is funny. Why don't they get rid of Darrell Hammond instead? He's been on for a ridiculously long time. Maybe even longer than Tim Meadows was, if that's even possible. Sure, he's a good impressionist, but even his impressions are starting to sound alike. When he's not imitating someone else, I don't think he's particularly funny.

But whatever, SNL. Chris Parnell doesn't need you. And now that he has more free time, maybe I can get a date with him. Unless he's gay...and then I'll flip out. The only good men I've found so far in New York are all gay.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Forgotten Classic Video of the Week

I totally dropped the ball on what was to have been a monthly recurring post - the "Other Guy of the Month" essay. Sorry, I just ran out of interesting guys. But, I still love that Charlie Schlatter.

Anyway, I've decided to not only replace that monthly bit, but I'm one-upping it with a more frequent bit - the "Forgotten Classic Video of the Week." (This is both visually stimulating for us all and appeals to my lazy side - YouTube is doing all the work.) I originally intended for it to be solely '80s videos, but now that I'm older all the years are running together, and there might be some early to mid-'90s videos that could actually be considered "classics" at this point. How depressing. I'll try to stick to oft "forgotten" gems, as the title suggests.

So, without further ado, the inaugural Forgotten Classic Video of the Week:
"Wouldn't It Be Good" by Nik Kershaw

This is one of my favorite songs from the '80s and people rarely remember it. I was so happy to find it on YouTube. I remember seeing this video before I had MTV and had to kick it with Night Tracks on TBS. They played this one a lot, and not only did I love the song, but I totally dug the Twilight Zone-y feel of the video. I imagine this was probably pretty cutting edge back when it premiered.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Aren't Highwaters a Bad Thing? (aka Have Mental Patients Taken over the Fashion World??)

I've always wanted to be more fashionable than I am. However, the fact that I abhor shopping (and yes, I was born a woman) coupled with my general lack of money leaves me with maybe a few "going out" ensembles in a giant sea of blah-wear. If anyone wants to nominate me for a What Not To Wear makeover, I'm all for it. But there is one trend that Stacy and Clinton better dare not try to push on me: the inexplicable marriage of capris and boots.

I love capris (and pedal pushers). I love boots. When I see them together, I HATE. I mean, it actually pisses me off to the point where I want to go up to the girl wearing them, shake her violently and scream, "What is wrong with you??? Do you SEE what you're wearing?? Forget what Vogue says, can you honestly look at yourself and tell me that you look normal??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" I feel like I'm losing my mind. How has this look become acceptable? No, no...more than just acceptable. The HOT look for fall. I don't get it. I can even understand short shorts with boots. That at least makes sense. And you know, when I find hooker-wear more reasonable than what's supposedly "in," something is very wrong.

I'm sorry if I'm offending any of you ladies out there who like or wear this look....

No I'm not. I'm not sorry. It's stupid. It's like embracing "floods." The floods just got shorter and the boots got higher. I won't be surprised if pairing hot pants with waders is next fall's rage.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Curse You, TV Programming Gods!!

Most people probably think I watch too much TV. They're probably right, but most of my TV-ing is done out of boredom. I really don't have that many shows that I have to watch. But, somehow, my must-see shows are usually always in conflict with each other. With 7 days in the damn week, you'd think my chances of this not being the case would be pretty high, but you'd be wrong. For instance:

Thursdays at 9:00 - CBS. I always watch CSI. Never miss it. I've watched it since the first episode, due to my love of both forensics and William Petersen. (And now I have the Jungle Fever for Gary Dourdan.) However, NBC's My Name is Earl has quickly become my favorite show. It started out on Tuesday nights, in conflict with WB's Supernatural, which was never an obsession but still quite enjoyable. I started taping Earl (since it was shorter) so I could watch the fright-fest. Then all of a sudden, Earl was a hit and was promptly moved to Thursday nights at 9:00. Grr. So, same issue. I had to tape one or the other. Now, Earl is moving to the old Friends spot at 8:00 which is great, but Supernatural will air on the new CW at, you guessed it, 9:00 on Thursdays. Yet, I can't get into The Office and there is an absolute programming void on Thursday at 9:30! So, I'm either forced to half-watch that show or have nothing to do between Earl and CSI. It's all very annoying. And poor Supernatural is never going to be able to compete against CSI and Grey's Anatomy. (Strangely enough, though I have some lust for Patrick Dempsey, I don't watch his show.) Why can't they just move Supernatural back to Tuesdays?? There's nothing else on Tuesdays!!

My latest problem is this: I'm addicted to Project Runway, which airs on Bravo Wednesday nights at 10:00. There is only one new fall show that I'm excited about and must watch, and that is NBC's Kidnapped. What's so exciting about this show, you ask? Two words: Jeremy Sisto. Now, if it were up to me, I would either just tape Project Runway or watch it on one of the 5,235 re-runs that air during the week. But, noooo. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I live with gay men. One of them is also addicted to PR. We always watch it together. It's our Wednesday night thing. Now, he knows I love Sisto. He thinks he's hot too, which I thought would make the transition easier. But apparently, you can't take Tim Gunn away from a gay man without a struggle. I'm coming up against some serious resistance to what I would like to be my new Wednesday night thing. He's not even happy with the idea of taping PR. (Sheesh...as Santino would say - lighten up, it's just faaaashion.) He thinks it's just as easy for me to tape Kidnapped. I'm sure I'll cave, just to keep the peace. It might be better for me to watch Sisto in the privacy of my own room anyway.

Friday, September 08, 2006

I Miss the Fashionable Gowns

So folks, I am out of the hospital. I was sprung on Wednesday afternoon. Hopefully now this medical drama is over. Speaking of medical drama, if anyone has ever been to the NYU Medical Center ER....did you feel like you walked into an episode of Grey's Anatomy? Like 70% of the staff there is unreasonably good looking. (No Patrick Dempsey, sorry to say.) The rest of the hospital is fairly normal, but the ER is apparently where all the hotties work. One doctor looked like the love child of Scott Foley and Patrick Muldoon, and a med student who came by to check on me had the Freddie Prinze, Jr. vibe going on. And it wasn't just the men, I had a beautiful, Russian lady doc helping me out. She wasn't Zeta-Jonesy enough to make me switch teams, but who knows what would have happened had they given me some morphine or valium or medicinal marijuana. Then again, I was looking like ass, so it wasn't really an opportune time for me to be flirting with anyone - man, woman or transgender.

Oh, and for anyone who thinks the hospital is a good place to get some rest...it's not. Nothing like a 3 am blood pressure check to disrupt your sleep.

Thanks to all who expressed their concerns for me!

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine